The Chain of Ego and the Poison of Vengeance -

Article by: Engineer Dr. Muhammad Athar Suri
Last Friday, I received the news of the passing of a highly dignified and capable individual, Syed Ali Nawaz Gilani Sahib. He was a person whose life was filled with knowledge, service, and continuous engagement. As a Muslim, I attended his funeral purely for the sake of Allah’s pleasure.
During the funeral, a strange feeling arose in my heart: the awareness of the world’s impermanence and man’s limited lifespan was brought into sharp focus. The person around whom crowds once gathered now lay silently under the earth. Besides a few office colleagues, there was no one I knew there. This scene was etched upon my heart and compelled my pen to ponder: Where are we headed?
This question echoed in my mind: How long will we, as a nation, continue to burn in the fire of our ego and personal vengeance? Instead of creating ease for one another, we have made it a norm to create difficulties. Our speech is filled with bitterness, our actions with stubbornness, and our attitudes with hatred. We are a nation that mistakes anger for self-respect and forgiveness for weakness. This is the intellectual decline that has wounded our collective soul.
Look into our society today, and you will find that we have disregarded divine principles like forgiveness, humility, and beneficence (Ehsan). Their place has been taken by ego, stubbornness, envy, and arrogance. If someone admits their mistake and apologizes, instead of encouraging them, people consider them weak or dishonorable. The truth is that the person who apologizes is not weak but brave, because they control their ego, break their pride, and this is true courage.
Our society has reached a point where suspicion, blame-game, and conspiracy are considered intelligence. Destroying someone’s honor or career has become a trivial matter. Within institutions, conspiracies are hatched based on personal animosity, false accusations are leveled, and halting the progress of a capable person is considered a matter of pride. These behaviors are not just cutting down individuals; they are eroding the very roots of our entire society.
The unfortunate reality is that our government and private institutions are also victims of these egoistic attitudes. Some officers engage in enmity with their subordinates purely based on personal differences. Stopping the promotion of a competent and honest person or punishing them with a transfer to a distant location—these have become everyday stories.
We must remember that stopping someone else’s sustenance does not increase our own. We cannot attain happiness by snatching away someone’s hard work. Man has no say in Allah’s distribution, and the provision we gain through oppression never brings blessing. Such sustenance does not bring peace to homes but generates restlessness, lack of blessing, and psychological torment.
Nations around the world consider their competent and talented individuals an asset, they respect them, and they benefit from them. But here, the situation is reversed. If someone distinguishes themselves through their knowledge, character, or performance, the fire of envy ignites against them. Instead of learning from their experience, people start making plans to bring them down.
The result is that our best minds, talented youth, and sincere individuals are either disappointed and fall silent or are forced to leave the country. We are ourselves wasting our potential and then complain about the lack of progress. Nations progress only when they move beyond personality worship and applaud competent and honest thinking.
Perhaps the root of all our problems is that we have forgotten accountability in the Hereafter. We do not consider that we will one day have to account for the person we oppressed, whose honor or livelihood we snatched.
Syed Ali Nawaz Gilani’s funeral was a silent reminder that everything in this world is temporary. Wealth, power, position—everything ends. Neither the throne nor the might accompanies one to the grave. Only deeds matter there, and the biggest reckoning will be for Huqooq-ul-Ibad (the rights of people/fellow human beings). Allah may forgive His own rights, but the right of a person will not be forgiven until that person themselves forgives.
If we look truthfully, forgiveness is not weakness, but true strength. Pardoning someone’s fault is an act that brings peace to the heart, elevates the soul, and restores life to relationships. Yet, we have hardened our hearts to such an extent that we end years of companionship, friendship, or kinship over a small matter. We must reflect on our attitudes. If we cannot forgive the minor mistakes of Allah’s servants for the sake of Allah’s pleasure, then how will Allah forgive us?
If we step out of the shell of our ego, an atmosphere of love, sincerity, and cooperation can be reborn in society. By forgiving each other and supporting one another, we can bring peace and serenity into our collective life.
We need to understand that when we become blinded by the spirit of personal vengeance, it is not just one individual but the entire system that is affected. An officer’s ego-driven decision impacts the livelihood of dozens of families. A political leader’s personal stubbornness can plunge the entire nation into crisis. A journalist’s biased news can destroy the reputation of an innocent person. Therefore, we must see the effects of our individual ego in the form of collective harm. Society will only progress when we learn to think beyond ourselves.
There is still time for us to stop. To review our mistakes. To sacrifice our ego, our stubbornness, and our anger for the sake of Allah’s pleasure.
We must remember that the powerful one is not the one who suppresses others, but the one who controls their anger. The Quran states: “…and who restrain anger and pardon the people; and Allah loves the doers of good.” (Surah Aal-e-Imran: 134). If we base our homes, institutions, and social attitudes on beneficence, forgiveness, and justice, many of our problems will resolve on their own.
Let us all pledge today to end the vengeful mindset from our lives. We will use our power, position, or status not to harm others but for their betterment.
Remember: The one who forgives is never small, and the one who takes revenge can never become great. Love, forgiveness, and humanity are the pillars upon which the edifice of nations stands. If we allow these pillars to fall, our history will be written only in words of regret. Therefore, let us start anew today: distribute love instead of hatred, practice forgiveness instead of enmity, and adopt humility instead of arrogance. This is the path that can make us successful in this world and honored in the Hereafter.